First Things First.

stepmom beside the still waters

I’ll start by saying that most people have no idea how to help a step parent. I have heard the phrase, “You knew what you were getting into when you married him” so many times now it should be retired. For real. Unfortunately, it’s a lie.
No one, no matter how prepared or responsible they are, knows what being a stepmother is like until they become one. Nothing can prepare you for the uncertainty, the frustration, the sudden and disastrous need for approval, or the guilt and shock when approval isn’t given. To make matters worse, no one wants to discuss their feelings or frustrations for fear of being branded “the wicked stepmother”…so here we are in a free nation where step families are quickly becoming the most prevalent, and none of the women involved have a support system.
To be fair, I have possibly the most supportive and encouraging…

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Strategy

A Stepmother's Journey

I feel like everything we do is strategic. Like I’m trying so hard to ensure that the bad-mouthing from her mother doesn’t take hold inside her and she begins to believe it. I’m sick of it.

What do I want? I just want to plan a weekend without worrying that we will “hear about it” from her mother later. Or worrying about how the story will be told to make us look like the bad guys. For example, we took her camping last year. Awesome time. She said it was her favorite thing that we did all year. Her mom complained that she was sleeping in a tent. In the cold. Poor baby girl. Please.

I feel like we can’t let our guard down for one minute because her mother will take those great memories and twist them around. If her mom has her way, all she will remember is…

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Too close to call.

Single Most thing

GTY_teenage_girl_texting_in_bedroom_jt_140405_16x9_992

I miss you.

That’s how it will start, I’m sitting with my phone in my hands, the line blinking, waiting for action… just blinking patiently, the message is still under my control.

What would I accomplish if I pressed send right now? Who would I be really sending to? The guy who dumped me? or the guy who I actually miss?

Would I regret as I watch the message send animation? wince as it ticks “Message received” and then obsess, wait for the response… will it even come?

“Its not worth the stress” I motivate myself, “He’s not worth the stress.” My thumb moves towards the delete key, I still have control of my message.

But he’s my friend right? He still must care about me on some level. He probably misses me too. My thumb moves towards the send key.

Maybe I can just say hey, talk about legend…

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